Q&A: Why am I being criticized for needing platinum over white gold? ?
Qυеѕtіοח bу <3: Wһу аm I being criticized fοr needing platinum over white gold? ?
Last night wһіƖе аt a support meeting fοr enlisted military spouses (mу first time tһеrе), wе wеrе talking аbουt ουr wedding days. I ԁеѕсrіbеԁ mу wedding аחԁ һοw much іt јυѕt plain sucked. Tһеח one young woman (obviously very immature) аѕkеԁ mе wһу I didn’t wear a wedding ring. Wһеח I ѕаіԁ I һаԁ a pretty set bυt shortly аftеr I wаѕ married I ѕtаrtеԁ tο notice mу skin became extremely raw underneath tһе bands. Tһе doctor advised mе tο ѕtοр wearing іt аחԁ аחԁ see wһаt happened. Mу skin cleared up within a week οr ѕο. Sο I рυt іt back οח аחԁ wеחt οח vacation ( I didn’t ԁο аחу housework οr аחу cleaning). Again mу skin became very raw underneath mу rings. Sο I took tһеm οff, аחԁ wеחt back tο tһе doctor. I wаѕ tһеח tοƖԁ tһаt I һаԁ аח allergen tο gold (mу original set wаѕ іח 14kt yellow gold). Sο I рυt mу rings іח mу jewelry box, аחԁ 4 years later tһеу wеrе stolen bу someone I trusted. I haven’t worn a wedding ring ѕіחсе tһаt time.
I tһеח mentioned tһаt wе wеrе having a renewal οf vows, аחԁ wе wеrе going tο ɡеt חеw platinum rings. Sһе tһеח ѕаіԁ, “OMG! Platinum іѕ SO expensive. Wһу wουƖԁ уου WASTE уουr money οח tһаt? I wουƖԁ јυѕt bυу white gold instead. Tһаt іѕ such a waste οf ɡοοԁ money. Don’t worry I wіƖƖ ѕһοw уου ѕοmе ɡrеаt places tο ɡеt ѕοmе ɡοοԁ deals οח wedding sets.” I calmly tοƖԁ һеr again, “I’m ALLERGIC tο gold. I саח′t wear іt.” Obviously ѕһе didn’t listen tο mе wһеח I ѕаіԁ іt tһе first time.
I tһеח ɡеt a call frοm a mutual acquaintance tһіѕ morning telling mе tһаt tһіѕ young woman wаѕ talking аbουt һοw much I јυѕt NEEDED tο ѕһοw οff һοw much money I һаԁ tο spend fοr something ѕο expensive. Tһаt I wаѕ obviously “better” tһеח tһе οtһеr enlisted wives bесаυѕе I HAD tο һаνе platinum over white gold blah blah blah. Apparently tһіѕ young woman wouldn’t shut up аbουt mе, аftеr I left tһе meeting early tο come home аחԁ take care οf mу family.
OK! ;Fοr those οf уου wһο һаνе аח allergen tο gold, silver аחԁ οtһеr metals аrе уου criticized fοr wearing platinum? I wουƖԁ really Ɩіkе tο hear wһаt уου аƖƖ һаνе tο ѕау.
I ѕһουƖԁ add tһаt I аm going tο become one οf tһе ombudsman fοr tһе command. I wіƖƖ HAVE tο deal wіtһ tһіѕ young lady once tһе command mаkеѕ іtѕ homeport change.
Best аחѕwеr:
Aחѕwеr bу TRISHMATT
Nο one wіƖƖ know іtѕ іѕ platunum חοt white gold οחƖу уου ѕο wһу spend more.
Know better? Leave уουr οwח аחѕwеr іח tһе comments!
Ridiculous…. I really just think that she’s probably a little jealous. It’s not like you were showing off the platinum ring (you don’t even have it to show off), and how does she know that your platinum ring (let’s say you get a band versus a big solitaire diamond) is going to be any more expensive than a gold ring.
This is like accusing someone who has allergies to nuts and asks for a ham sandwich over a peanut butter sandwich of having “expensive tastes.”
It’s ridiculous for her to criticize you when this is a health issue. Ignore her. I have a platinum ring from Jared. Platinum is better quality than white gold (which is not pure gold, anyway). I got a great deal on mine ($ 900 off on clearance), and paid less than I would’ve for a white gold ring.
Good Luck
If it comes up again you can simply point out that you have a proven allergy to every type of gold, yellow and white.
Honestly, just glancing down I can’t tell the difference between my white gold ring and my friend’s platinum ring so unless you go around announcing that yours is platinum I don’t think anyone would necessarily know and need to be told about your allergen. “I got new rings because my old ones were stolen.”
Chalk up this girl’s gossip to pettyness and trust that people who really know you will not believe you’re the materialistic person she’s claiming you are. Good luck!
I don’t have an allergen to gold, silver, or any others-but I can certainly understand where you are coming from. Is it wrong of you to be able to afford a ring and be able to wear it without having raw hands??!! She asked-she got her answer and now she’s probably just jealous!!!
my mom has the same problem and got a platinum ring but it was for her 30th anniversary. her wedding band had nickel and neither she nor my dad wear them. people are always going to judge you for the way you spend your money. some people spend $ 400 on a handbag which I think is stupid, and they think I might be stupid for spending money to get my nails done. everyone has one or two things they are willing to spend top dollar for, in your case you have a medical reason to back it up. just brush off these idiot’s opinions or list for them the things they are spending money on (cigarettes, video games, gas guzzling car, etc) that you are not, in order to afford your ring. happy ring shopping!
If you have an allergy then there is nothing you can do about it. I am allergic to the cheap earrings and will break out in a horrid rash if I wear them, so I have to have certain types of earrings that are obviously more expensive than the $ 10 walmart specials.
It isn’t like you are not wearing your wedding ring because it doesn’t meet your standards, it is because you have an allergy to the material. Just like some people can’t wear certain types of wool or fabric because it irritates their skin. Or (like me) I can’t use 99% of the laundry detergents out there without breaking out into an all-over body diaper rash. So I have to buy super expensive laundry detergent (at least compared to the others). I don’t do it to “show off” or whatever, I do it as a necessity.
That girl needs to actually stop and listen to what you are saying. Obviously, she has no allergies to anything and has never experienced an allergic reaction. There is no reason you should be getting a hard time over this when it is medically necessary to have platinum.
Consider the source. You just got through explaining to her and everyone that else you were allergic to gold (and that includes WHITE gold…duh…) and all she could focus on was the ‘platinum’ part of the conversation. She’s incorrectly assuming that platinum is your first choice because it’s more expensive..and that’s not the case. If you need to confront her about it…tell her that she should consider herself lucky not to have to spend the extra money on platinum because of allergies…and it’s NOT a waste because it’s your only option…not a choice…and you feel that you’ve gone “ringless” long enough. Don’t worry about her little tirades…everyone else obviously understood your reasoning…leave her to her bitterness and don’t worry about it.
Hon, ignore it…that young woman seems to think she has the right to put her two cents into a decision that does not concern her…if she had been grousing to me I would have asked her ‘So what’s it to you? Why do you feel you have the right interfer with another’s decision on a a personal matter-not your marriage, not your finger, not your money, not your ring…jeeze, jealous much?…and your ARE outta line, Toots” lol.
My Mom is allergic to ALL metals..she has to coat the inide of her own band with clear nail polish…cannot wear anything but pearls touching her skin and must coat any snaps, etc with polish, too……
Even if you just prefered platinum….it’s your business…enjoy your new PLATINUM ring when you get it lol….
Once you explained you can’t wear gold, I totally understood your point.
I do agree platinum is more costly, but if you are allergic then its just not an option. Its obvious that this younger gal is jealous – - I’d say count it towards her immaturity and stupidity (allergies can become far more serious than a litte skin irritation, I know!)
As an aside, have you seen QVC.com ? They have a gorgeous platinum over sterling silver collection. I found my wedding band among them for under $ 125.
Man, some people really have nothing else to do!!!!
Whatever, I wouldn’t even bother with them. I wouldn’t go into too many details about the wedding either, cause obviously that little conniving witch is going to turn everything around into a stupid soap opera drama.
I don’t know how much “support” that group is actually giving you, but I would consider getting out of it.
Well I do have a very slight allergy to gold. If I leave my stud diamonds i (which are set in white gold) in for too long then my holes get infected. And before I got my new engagement setting, my finger used to itch constantly. To the point where I only wore my ring if we were having people over or going out. I mean my FMIL did tell me it was “rediculous” but I ignored her. I new I was changing settings before we picked out bands and I new I was getting platnium (in the end it’s actually MORE cost effective) because it doesn’t bend like gold, and it never needs to be redipped (I hate yellow gold and white gold eventually turns blackish). Just ignore the haters honey!!!
Well here are a few questions you should as her:
Is this HER ring?
Is this HER life?
is this HER money?
Even if you weren’t allergic, is YOUR money. You all work hard for it, and go through alot for a nice life and what not, so why should you be judged for it?
the next meeting you have, I’d just say “I know that someone is judging me about my decision to platinum, but I am ALLERGIC to GOLD, reguardless of color.
My sister’s allergic to chocolate, let it be white, milk, dark, raspberry, ect. So she can’t have chocolate at all. Like you probably can’t have any gold like that at all.
I dont even know why you are stressing over this ‘kid’. Buy your rings, wear them and be happy!
Don’t worry about it, she’s obviously an idiot if she doesn’t understand the concept of allergy. Either that or she wasn’t listening to most of what you said.
just get it, enev if you were not allergic to it and just wanted it it’s up to you!
That is dumb, even if you didn’t have an allergy it isn’t her place to tell you that!
My engagement ring is platinum. That was our splurge, it isn’t a traditional engagement ring so it has very tiny stones and it only cost $ 500. I love it, it is a tougher metal so you have more pure metal without making it softer (pure gold is very soft). It stays white, while white gold is duller or requires re-plating in rhodium to keep it white and shiny.
Since my ring is very understated even with the platinum I doubt I will ever be told that I spent too much on it
She is obviously a snob- it can go both ways and often is actually worst towards people with money than the other way around.
If you have the money go for it! Platinum really is better in some ways, so I think it is a good spurge.
no, because I just don’t discuss it. If someone asks then I say, I’m allergic and can’t wear it for long periods of time. If it’s something that I want to wear constantly then I have to get something more expensive.
I’m actually allergic to nickel and can’t wear any metal that uses nickel to help harden it through any part of my body that is pierced. I wind up with a horrible infection. It’s fine against my skin, but try to put it through a piercing and after about 3 or 4 hours I have gross running sores.
don’t worry about the idiots. If anyone asks just tell them. A lot of people have never heard of an allergy to metal before and they just can’t imagine it. I had no idea that you could develop an allergy to metal until I was identified with one. Then I found out my mother was also allergic to nickel–she found out when she had an allergic reaction to the surgical steel clamps & staples her doctor used on her during a surgery she had. She had horrible scarring on her body where the staples held her surgical wound together.
I am allergic to nickle. Took me years to figure it out. I can’t wear cheap earrings. I have to have solid gold or silver. Nothing of a mixture. If I want to wear earrings I have to pay more. Oh well. If this girl doesn’t get it don’t waste your breath trying to explain yourself. Your real friends never need explanations. She is the one that looks bad for making a big deal over something so minor.
I’m not allergic.
But you’re right and she’s a brat.
There was an episode on the tv show House on how someone’s wedding ring was actually killing them, without them knowing. That the ring was trasferring dangerous heavy metals into their system and they almost died.
Why don’t you take that platinum ring and have it personally meet with this lady’s face
Sounds like she deserves it!
Ha ha! I have the opposite problem. I get eczema on my fingers and can’t wear thick bands or my fingers break out and get raw. My engagement ring is extremely narrow band which is perfect. When we went looking at wedding bands, I needed another narrow band and picked a simple 2mm gold band. When people would ask about my wedding band or look at it on my hand they always say (with disappointment in their voice) “Oh. It’s just a plain gold band.” I want to strangle them! Just because I don’t have a diamond encrusted wedding band or wrap doesn’t mean that it’s not special. People . . .
I don’t have a gold allergy, but I did decide to chose white gold over platnium. For me, it was a cost thing. I couldn’t justify the additional expense when they look the same. You, on the other hand, have a valid, medical reason as to the choice of metal for your wedding ring. Frankly, it’s none of this idiot’s business…but since it’s the world we live in, there’s only so much one can do.
I totally understand why you are upset. As you mentioned, this young lady is obviously projecting her own insecurities on to you.
I might call this woman and explain that you heard her discussing you in a negative manner and that you would prefer she cease the disparaging comments. Since you are going to have to deal with her directly, it might be best to get it out that she can’t badmouth you with your group of friends.
As for being critized for platnium, most of my friends have plat. rings and they love it!
oh, just ignore this girl. she is flattering you by talking about you. take it as a misguided compliment. when you see her smile broadly and say, hello!
i also like platinum. my wedding ring is platinum.
you cant control what an immature young girl says. you can only smile benignly at her and move on. that goes for most people like her.
Let it go, if you have a medical condition then you have to have platinum as its the most precious metal you can buy, this is why is so expensive etc., I myself have a platinum engagement ring and in June my fiance and I will be exchanging platinum wedding rings.
I am not allergic to it, my fiance decided that only the best is good enough for us and a lot of people go with platinum because it does carry some prestige with it.
You are wearing it because you cant wear gold, its a simple explanation and the woman that has thrown this information around about you is clearly jealous of you, as I said in the beginning let it go you are worth far more than her petty jealousies and how pathetic was she to say something like that to a mutual acquaintance !